I don't feel any feelings at all towards this growth, save possibly a little resentment, now that summer has truly hit and it feels so uncomfortable to move around. I can't remember if I felt this same way at this juncture with Jonah, because (as I discovered to my dismay) my first pregnancy was unevenly and poorly journaled. I hope I did feel this same way, in a limbo state and unconnected. Until movement makes itself felt, until anatomy can be observed, there is really nothing to feel (except way exhausted, as I am today, after traipsing around in the heat and then being rewarded with no nap to speak of). At least a little morning sickness would be a distraction - all I get is an uneasy feeling when I've forgotten to eat or pee once an hour. I remember the 20 week ultrasound as a definite milestone in terms of excitement - seeing the flexible spine undulating on the screen was incredible. The practical challenges that are beginning to assert themselves (where will we live, how will we get by, will Jonah hate his sibling) make all of this distinctly less fun.
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