We saw it today - transparent sac
deep inside, with a yolky snack.
No beating heart. Early still for that.
The lack of preciousness this time around is astonishing. No time to navel-gaze, literally or otherwise. Barely time to shove food into my endlessly hungry maw, sometimes food pilfered from the firstborn's ration, when we're out and about. Lifting the boy out of his crib is a test of my endurance, which usually leaves me collapsed in the armchair in his room until I'm summoned to the rug for the umpteenth pretend picnic of the day. How tired will I be when I actually have something to show? Just now I look paunchy, only slightly paunchier than Before.
First appointment today left me with a slightly sick feeling about the new doctor I chose - turns out it's yet another Baby Factory. A thorough practitioner who talks at about 3.5 times the normal speed (even by NYC standards). In and Out (well, except with an hour-long wait to go In). I am hoping the midwife returns my call.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Gestational logorrhea: week 4
Here be found random thoughts on my current condition, which I'm still too much in shock to really believe... I doubt anyone is following along, but if you do, hi! and please keep this all to yourself. Thanks.
You are pregnant for two weeks before you conceive. I guess I was pregnant in my mind, with all the eating I was doing, and continue to do. Why did I think it would take more than one try this time around? After all, we weren't moving house or anything. However, this baby was conceived in a bed - how pedestrian! It is difficult for me to get after hours access to a library these days. Yes, you read that right.
I look at Jonah now and am suffused with equal parts pride (understandable) and guilt (for removing his privileged status of primogenito). He knows the book, I'm a Big Brother by heart (it was in a batch of hand-me-down books from my brother), but he has no idea it will apply to him. When quizzed about having a little brother or sister, he recites back what I've told him: "Gonna share my toys with them. Gonna teach them things." I wonder if he suspects anything.
Physical manifestations so far are limited to headaches (when I don't eat frequently enough, which is ALL THE TIME) and incredibly sharp twinges in my lower abs when I get up too quickly from bed or a chair. Eeeeeeeeasy there, big girl.
You are pregnant for two weeks before you conceive. I guess I was pregnant in my mind, with all the eating I was doing, and continue to do. Why did I think it would take more than one try this time around? After all, we weren't moving house or anything. However, this baby was conceived in a bed - how pedestrian! It is difficult for me to get after hours access to a library these days. Yes, you read that right.
I look at Jonah now and am suffused with equal parts pride (understandable) and guilt (for removing his privileged status of primogenito). He knows the book, I'm a Big Brother by heart (it was in a batch of hand-me-down books from my brother), but he has no idea it will apply to him. When quizzed about having a little brother or sister, he recites back what I've told him: "Gonna share my toys with them. Gonna teach them things." I wonder if he suspects anything.
Physical manifestations so far are limited to headaches (when I don't eat frequently enough, which is ALL THE TIME) and incredibly sharp twinges in my lower abs when I get up too quickly from bed or a chair. Eeeeeeeeasy there, big girl.
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