I'm 20 weeks today. The baby is officially half-baked. It was a big day - checkup at the midwife's first, then a quick walk over to the hospital for the anatomy scan. I didn't remember it being so detailed last time. We saw each tibia and humerus, everything was labeled, and the SPINE, the amazing spine. The ribs. We got a printout of a hand making a "thumbs up," and a couple of shots of the feet. The profile shot took the longest - a lot of shaking and jiggling by the technician, and then I was required to go pee some more. Finally we got the profile... and it looks a lot like Jonah's did. So I guess we really are the parents.
I was feeling great about all this - how I crave things to be normal, routine, boring, especially when I'm pregnant. I was looking forward to finally concretizing some plans for our trip to San Francisco in a few days. And then my phone rang around 9 p.m. It was Jonah's teacher from school, calling to report that she and her colleague have been noticing some things... He clenches his fists, he has trouble holding on to things, he can't use markers, he walks on tiptoe a lot. Fine motor stuff. She recommends having him evaluated in school by an occupational therapist, though she hastened to add that he's very young and it may be nothing at all. I really appreciated her calling but it was all I could do not to break down, hearing that all may not be well with my son. (I saved that until I hung up the phone.) What parent wants to hear that their child is anything less than perfect? And what parent, hearing this, does not hasten to blame themselves entirely?
The teacher also mentioned that Jonah seems overwhelmed by school - he hasn't yet started settling down to do things, but rather flits from one activity to the other, and sits outside the circle during circle time (again, always with the caveat that he is very young). Even his contact with other kids is fleeting - he'll start to interact, then walk away. He hasn't protested when I drop him off, but leaving the house in the morning is starting to be a challenge - just this morning I had to pick up his sobbing, prostrate body from the floor three times in order to get him ready. Not something I can continue to do. If we just make it out to the street, he immediately switches to his public persona, smiling at passersby.
It's bothering me that now, instead of thinking of my child happily whiling away the school hours playing with cool toys, I worry that he feels just as lost as I do.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Deb, I'd take their comments about Jonah's motor skills and social interactions, very, very lightly. I've seen your boy and he is happy and so well adjusted, and it's their job to "see" these potential problems. He's not yet three, and day care is a big deal, plus he's among the younger kids, right? Don't think about getting him tested and screened because he walks on his toes (god, I know so many kids who do this). The last thing he needs is to start thinking that something might be wrong with him. keep your eyes on him, but also, let him be a toddler for a while and remember how thrilled he was at the beginning of term to go to school. g
Post a Comment