Thursday, February 11, 2010

Gestational logorrhea: The false alarm zone

First false alarm, last night. My first official due date isn't until Sunday, but I had a checkup yesterday and the internal exam revealed I'm still about 2cm, not any more than that, and maybe only 50% effaced, not completely as I'd been led to believe last week. But sitting at the computer around 10 pm I started feeling the baby move, burrowing down a little (the head is right on the cervix), and had an all-over tightening of my belly which signals a contraction (false or real). With Jonah, every time I had an internal exam I would then have a false labor alarm later in the day. Seems like that's what happened this time, too. After maneuvering myself into a lukewarm bath, and sending Josh to dig out the car from under the snow and install the baby's car seat, everything had gone back to normal, and I slept a great, long night. Of course, I wish we hadn't called our neighbors with the false alarm, as they've been nice enough to offer to sleep over here if things get started in the middle of the night. They were very understanding when I called back.

It's terrifying, not being able to trust my body to give me the right signs. Yesterday at the checkup, I was hooked up to the fetal monitor and realized that I couldn't always tell when the baby was moving unless I looked at my belly. Some of the movements I could not detect without looking. I feel like my belly is anesthetized, somehow, and I worry this is going to make me wind up with an emergency home birth.

I need this baby to come soon, for everyone's sake. Poor Jonah is getting tired of talking about the baby in theory - he wants a real one to contend with. I don't blame him.

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